Looking back at 2024 and ahead to 2025

On December 28, 2024December 28, 2024 By MiriahIn Life, Writing PathLeave a comment

Standard blog content for this time of year would be a review of my past year and committing to goals for the upcoming year.

My 2024 in review:

I was extremely sick with pneumonia and complications for all of January and February.
My father passed away in July at the age of 97 from covid. The best friend of one of my daughters died suddenly of cancer – he was only 23 and his partner was pregnant (their baby is healthy). Also, both of my elderly cats passed away.
I continued volunteering on the Board of Directors of Cascade Writers Workshop.
I resumed submitting a couple of short stories to markets. (I had sort of stopped bothering when covid hit and put my energy into mainly writing for fun.) Black Cat Weekly accepted my novelette, The Ballad of Kinmont Willa, for publication (but I don’t know when it will be published).
The in-person Numenera table-top campaign I GM’d, based on Monty Cook’s Slaves of the Machine Gods wrapped at the narrative end after about 14 months.
I continued to participate as a player and GM in multiple play-by-post roleplaying games. On one forum where most of my games are hosted, I volunteered on a ‘Collaboration, Accessibility, Community, and Equity’ committee. A game I GM’d in the Killjoys tv series setting came to a narrative end, and I started GMing a new game with three groups of players in a setting based on fairy tales and Monty Cook’s We Are All Mad Here by Shanna Germain.
In September, my husband and I went on a week-long guided tour of the US southwest National Parks that included Zion, Bryce, Arches, Canyonlands, Antelope Canyon, Monument Valley, and the Grand Canyon. It was absolutely lovely and amazing! But we both came home with covid, curtesy of another couple on the tour.

A large black and white dog named Teddy. — Teddy, looking back.

Looking ahead to 2025

My goals include more exercise, declutter, keep a log of the books I read.
I plan to engage with world events in a meaningful way, although I don’t quite know how I’ll do that – yet.
My big goal for 2025 is to write a novel. Often when I get a novel-sized story idea the beginning and end are clear to me, but when I write an outline, I realize I don’t know what happens in the middle. For this novel idea, I’ve been working on what feels like a good working outline that includes what happens in each act, and I’m excited about writing it, the characters, and the theme. I can write a novel in one year, right?

What are your goals for 2025?

I am complicit

On November 24, 2024November 24, 2024 By MiriahIn LifeLeave a comment

It is rightly said that white women are the cradle of white supremacy and misogyny. Even when we are not actively teaching our children to hate, we perpetuate hate through our silence and inaction. To “keep the peace” we pretend we don’t know. We excuse the inexcusable. We ignore what’s right in front of us. We are okay with our family members’ cruelty as long as we personally are not the victim.

Because when we acknowledge, when we bear witness, we can’t escape the reality that we are complicit.

An angry cat carved into a pumpkin and illuminated. — Last month’s Halloween pumpkin

A week ago today in a zoom call with my two siblings, I asked my brother who he voted for. I needed to know (see my last post), and I hoped he would say Harris, but if not, I figured he would say something like “I don’t want to talk about politics.” Then my sister and I would awkwardly pretend we didn’t know he voted for Trump.

My brother proudly declared he “voted with his wallet for Trump” and when I conveyed how horrifying it was to me that he that he would vote to take away my human rights and the human rights of my children, my own brother – who has on numerous previous occasions claimed to love me – he laughed. He took delight in my despair.

He gloated.

Then he proceeded to spew misogynist and racist Faux News crap.

After I told him to fuck off and I left the call (yeah, when I’m really angry I lose all ability to articulate), my sister told me later that before she ended the call, he doubled down on the misogyny and racism and complained that he and our mother (who passed away in 2021) had an ‘understanding’ to never discuss politics.

Thing is, Mom followed politics closely, and she was passionately progressive about social issues. For example, she and I went to a rally together to protest the first Trump regime’s obscene treatment of immigrants.

So what does that say about the relationship between my brother and our mother? I think Mom never discussed politics with her son because she wanted to believe he was a good person. A moral person. A kind and compassionate person. That’s what I wanted to believe about him too, even with ample evidence to the contrary. But now I have no such illusions, and I’m done pretending.

Hope Lost, for now

On November 11, 2024December 28, 2024 By MiriahIn Life, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Last week we learned what many of us feared – half of people in the US worship a grotesquely disgusting creep. They voted him into the office of US president. Hate won.

Like many who envisioned a bright future ahead, with leaders who lifted people up instead of punching them down, that hope has been crushed. Electing Harris would have been the first step on the road to a positive future.

Most Trump supporters are very proud of their bigotry and wear self-identifying t-shirts and hats. I live in a mostly blue area of Washington. For me personally, the worst part is certain internet communities I’m a member of. Knowing there’s a 50/50 chance that any person I interact with there is a Trump supporter saddens me deeply.

Why? If you voted for Trump, this is what that says to me (and the blue half of the US) about who you are:

You are a white supremacist. You could never vote for an extremely well qualified black woman over an extremely unqualified white male reality show host.
You enjoy the idea of anyone who isn’t white enough getting deported, regardless of their immigration status.
You are a fascist (but too stupid to recognize what fascism is).
You are a misogynist, and your hate includes all women, even your own daughters. You don’t care if they die from treatable medical emergencies. If you are a woman, you especially hate yourself. To you, women are not human beings, they are property.
You approve of rapists. Like Trump, you believe men are entitled to use women’s bodies however they wish and have probably acted accordingly.
You are ableist.
You are homophobic.
You are transphobic and obsessed with other people’s genitals, especially school children’s.
You are too stupid to understand that unless you are very wealthy, you will not be the exception.
You have no empathy at all.

Photo of the Seattle Japanese Gardens, Washington Park Arboretum, in November 2024 — Seattle Japanese Gardens, Washington Park Arboretum

This is where a lot of bloggers outline their plan for coping and taking action. I still have hope for the future, but I don’t have a plan.

Yet.

Winter Holiday Crafts 2019

On December 20, 2019 By MiriahIn LifeLeave a comment

Happy Holidays to all!

When my children were little, I made each of them a stocking from one of those kits, the ones where you hand-sew, sequin, and stuff the felt pieces together. When I realized that my son-in-law didn’t have a Christmas stocking, I wanted to make one for him too. He chose a kit he liked (there are so many to choose from!) and I put it together.

photo of Christmas stocking in first three stages of completion — Progress photos. A) cabin and trees, B) deer and bear, C) Santa.

It was a fun project. One thing the directions don’t tell you, and I learned from making the previous stockings, is that it’s essential sew a lining and reinforce the hanging loop if you ever intend to actually put gifts and candy inside the stocking and hang it.

photo of completed Christmas stocking — Completed stocking, with fox, fire, marshmallows, and personalization.

What holiday crafts have you made this year?

A new year – 2019

On January 7, 2019January 7, 2019 By MiriahIn Life, Writing PathLeave a comment

I tend to think that a list of New-Year’s resolutions will end up being a depressing list of things I didn’t do in twelve month’s time. So I’m keeping my goals for this year general: Finish editing my novel (The Heartstone of Tehnareach). Continue improving my health. Read more. Write some short stories. Finish more things. Support my loved ones. I’ve started the year with a spreadsheet to keep track so that at the end of each month I can review and update my goals without feeling like I have no idea what the heck I actually did.

Miriah Hetherington — My helpers, Teddy and Thea

Find what works and do that – a strategy for life goals as well as writing

On October 17, 2018 By MiriahIn LifeLeave a comment

Over the last six months I’ve lost 35 pounds.

Because of a variety of factors, over the last ten years my weight had slowly crept up to… a lot more than it ever was before. I decided I was ready to make a change. It’s been a hard journey and I still have another 15 pounds to loose to get to the goal weight set by my doctor.

I’m fortunate to have a number of factors working to my advantage. I have minimal emotional triggers related to my weight. Like most women (and many men) I’m impacted by the unrealistic expectations of society and the (false) assumption that healthy automatically equals thin (despite long-standing research and medical finding to the contrary). But I have not struggled my whole life with unsuccessful diets and toxic weight-loss expectations, as many people do.

My privilege includes:
– access to good healthcare,
– access to fresh quality food and the means to buy it,
– living in a neighbor where I can safely walk for exercise,
– possessing the means to pay for and go to a gym.

With all those advantages, my basic weight-loss strategy has been to exercise more, sleep more, eat less, and eat better. I record every single thing I eat, every day. There are a lot of good Apps around for keeping track of diet. I use one called My Fitness Pal. It’s free, although I paid $50 for a year without adverts. The food database is extensive and I rarely need to use the add-new feature, and the recipe add is easy. It’s basically a calorie-counter that (depending on settings) awards additional calories for activity – which motivates me to exercise. I sync the app to my fitbit and let it figure out how many calories I’ve burned.

I anticipate reaching my goal weight in another 3 to 4 months, then a few months more to figure out maintenance.

This is what has worked for me. I think the key to any sustainable life change, like a writing practice, is to experiment. Find what works for your unique self and do that.

Oh, and here’s the obligatory photo:

Miriah Hetherington hand — Still tight, but for the first time in years I can wear my (real) wedding ring.

Stories we tell

On February 9, 2018 By MiriahIn LifeLeave a comment

I’ll skip the obligatory confession/excuse paragraph about not blogging in… forever.

Lately I’ve been thinking about stories and narratives in a wider sense. Not just the ones that are published after having been selected and vetted by editors. The ones you hear in news/opinion media. The stories your friend tells you over coffee. The family history conveyed by your grandmother. The anecdote you overhear in the line at the post office. The stories our leaders tell.

Stories are important.
The stories we tell ourselves
shape our understanding of who we are.
The stories our loved ones tell
shape our understanding of what matters most.
The stories our community tells
shape our understanding of the world.

Cragside, UK, August 2017, Owl sculpture, Miriah Hetherington — Owl carving at Cragside, UK

Volunteer time

On August 5, 2016August 14, 2016 By MiriahIn Gàidhlig Path, LifeLeave a comment

Another distraction to add to the list of reasons I hadn’t updated my blog (to continue from my last blog post) was my volunteer work with Slighe nan Gaidheal and the every-other-year Fèis event (a five-day festival) in June.

I have been Slighe’s volunteer treasurer for almost six years. My second, three-year term on the Board of Directors ends on October 31st. And then I will retire.

The Scottish Gaelic language, or Gàidhlig (sounds like GAL-ik) as it’s called in that language, fascinates me. I feel that understanding the gaelic languages gives me a window into the Celtic mind and heart.

Gàidhlig was very nearly wiped out, in the systematic way that languages spoken by the poor and powerless often are (*). But in recent years the language is experiencing a resurgence. That is due to several factors including UK government support and the willingness of many families to enroll their children in the new Gàidhlig emersion schools. Also, all over the world there are individuals and groups learning to speak Scottish Gaelic. For the last twenty years, Slighe nan Gaidheal has nurtured a persistent community of Gàidhlig learners and speakers in the Pacific Northwest.

So after my husband and I began taking classes in Scottish Gaelic through Slighe’s excellent education program more than seven years ago, I wanted to give back to this little community. So I enthusiastically volunteered to help with the 2010 Fèis. Then I ran for and was elected to the Board of Directors.

The treasurer position is not difficult, insofar as anyone who can balance their checkbook and learn to use QuickBooks could do it. The critical requirement is consistency – checks have to be deposited and bills have to be paid on time. Slighe is a small non-profit with no employees, so there are not that many transactions to keep track of. Except during a Fèis – then it gets insanely busy and sorting out the financial end of things can easily take up every spare minute for several weeks.

My enjoyment in working with this volunteer organization has been strongly influenced by the dedication and attitude of the other volunteers. When all the volunteers show up for meetings and do their jobs to the best of their abilities when they say they will do them, it can be a wonderful and energizing experience.

I don’t enjoy this volunteer gig anymore.

I feel that the best reason to volunteer my time to an organization is because I love what the organization does or stands for. For almost six years I have accomplished an ongoing task that is critical to the continued existence of Slighe nan Gaidheal, so I feel good about that. Slighe has many responsible and devoted volunteers whom I have enjoyed working with over the years.

It’s time for me to retire from the Slighe board. Three months left to go.

Fort Worden, June 2016 — Fort Worden, Fèis 2016

(*) The majority of Scottish Gaelic speakers are, now and historically, white. In my opinion that is the main reason it survived compared to, for example, Native American languages.

Still here and blogging (sort-of)

On July 31, 2016 By MiriahIn Life, Writing PathLeave a comment

Reasons I have not updated my blog in four months:

1. I was putting all my writing energy into finishing the Novel.
(And on 5 June 2016 I DID finish the 115k-word, zero draft!)

2. End of school year chaos.

3. My husband and I took our twins on a family vacation in northern India for three weeks.

4. The illness I picked up in India came home with me and has been hanging around for one-and-a-half weeks (so far).

5. My oldest daughter is getting married four weeks from now.

Another Teddy Post

On July 7, 2015July 7, 2015 By MiriahIn Life, Uncategorized1 Comment

Yes, this is another blog post about my dog.
My kids occasionally entertain themselves and me by saying what they think our dog, Teddy, is thinking. Speaking in a voice that sounds to me like Dexter in an animated show called “Dexter’s laboratory.”
Now I find myself imagining what Teddy is thinking.

Teddy:
Where is boss-Mom going? The room where they keep food! I will follow her.

What are you doing? What is that you took from the big cold box? Is it peanut butter? It’s PEANUT BUTTER isn’t it? I want some. Give it to me. I want some. Please. Please. Please.

Yes!

Oh. Ugh. What is this awful green thing Boss-Mom has fed to me? Celery. Yuk. I will leave it here on the floor. No, no, don’t pick it up. I will eat it later. If I get bored.
Listen, Boss-Mom. If you must eat green stuff, I will hook you up. There is a nice patch of grass outside in the back yard. I will share it with you. Long blades of grass. Nice and green.
But while you are out there, do not eat the rabbit poo. I will not share. The rabbit poo is mine. All mine.

viewpoints

Category: Life